Today I was going to close the loop, so to speak, by writing another installment in my This Little Girl series. This Little Girl - Mary was going to be the story about my birth mother.
This afternoon, as I opened the picture I have of her as a girl, and thought about what to write, I knew that this was not the time to close that loop.
I know quite a bit about this woman who gave birth to me. I know facts about her life, how she grew up, how she spent much of her life, and even how she died. I also know much about her life and her perception of people and circumstances.
I have talked with her sister, my aunt, and heard her described as "the kindest person who ever lived". This description does not resonate with me. I have met the other children she chose not to keep, my siblings. I wonder if it resonates with them.
I have read the words she spoke when she stood before a court surrendering her rights to me.
I will save This Little Girl - Mary for another day.
She was my mother, and yet not.
I like what you are doing with your story. I know that however it comes out, the experience of writing about it must be healing for you--or will be when you figure out how to continue.
ReplyDeleteWill you try to get more information on your birth mother? Applause for writing what must be a very tough story.
ReplyDeleteI like too that you are working through the facts around your birth and your mom's choices. It's so hard to get a full understanding of why things happen but sometimes we need to do our best to come to where we have to with it.
ReplyDeleteI think that I have all the information that I need, or really want, about my birth-family. The rest will come from my heart. I think that it is an interesting story and one day I will write more.
ReplyDeleteSuch a bittersweet post, Linda. Thanks for sharing this.
ReplyDelete