Calling

I hear her calling to me.

"Tell my story," she whispers.

I ignore her prompting as she once ignored me.

"It's time," she insists. "In telling my story you will come to understand."

Stubbornly, I turn away. I am not sure that I want to understand; there is comfort in the anger that I feel toward her.

"If I tell your story it won't be because you ask me to," I tell her. "If I tell your story it will be because I want to move on; it will be because I want to release the burden that you are to me."

Some part of me knows that in telling her story I will find healing, yet I continue to resist, unwilling to risk the release of my resentment toward her, and almost afraid of what might take its place.

8 comments:

Melissa Amateis said...

Ooh. I have a similar story. I had it all outlined and plotted out. Yet when it came down to writing it, I couldn't. I just wasn't ready. I'm still not ready. Can't wait until I am, though. I love the story.

Kathleen said...

This has all the earmarks of a healing in the making! Whatever the story, I KNOW the other side of it will be amazing, and free.

Be blessed,
Kathleen

Anonymous said...

((Hugs)) Linda, just take your time--it will all come together when YOU are ready.

PS. I got an ipod shuffle, the tiny-tiny one for my anniversary! Can't wait to figure it all out!

Pat's Place said...

Writing those stories are HARD! I have one that is waiting to be written and I am not ready to enter into that pain at this point, but I know that it will not be so bad when I DO write the story and get it off my chest. Then, why do I wait? Don't exactly know, but when the time comes I know it will be healing.

Unknown said...

Your last line was profound ... to be afraid of what would take resentments place. Action negates fear. I suspect that your fear is probably worse than the outcome. I also suspect that writing this post is your first step to taking action.

Small Footprints
http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com

Terri Tiffany said...

Love your new look!

Linda Hoye said...

Melissa - when the time is right, you'll know.

Sassy Granny - the healing has begun!

Kim - Thank you Kim. The process has started! Enjoy your ipod! I highly recommend loading it up with some podcasts about writing.

Pat - sounds like you understand just where I'm coming from

Small Footprints - the fear of the unknown is usually worse than the truth.

Terri - thanks!

Beverlydru said...

You've got my attention! Your writing is compelling.