A Ticking Clock

We are heading home today after a wonderful time in Calgary. The "official" reason for our visit this time was to look after our grandson while his parents were away. We are fortunate that our granddaughter and her parents live just twenty minutes away so we have been blessed to have been able to spend time with both of them.

It seems that each time we are hear I hear the faint sound of a ticking clock counting down the minutes until we have to leave. Every day, every hour, every minute, every second we spend here is so precious.

I hear the ticking clock more often these days - even when we are not here.

Perhaps part of the reason is that I will turn fifty-two in a few months and my mom died suddenly at age fifty-five. I can't help but think about her and what dreams and hopes she may have had when she was fifty-two and all that she missed out on.

She adored my children, her grandchildren, as much as I adore my own grandchildren. It breaks my heart that she died so young and did not have the opportunity to see Michael and Laurinda grow up; just as it breaks my heart to consider not having that opportunity with Makiya and Jaxon. It's one of the reasons I started paying more attention to my health, and it's another reason I want to retire early so I can spend more time with them.

Sometimes the sound of the ticking clock is so loud that I forget to stop and enjoy the small, seemingly insignificant, moments that each day brings.

This week I have enjoyed time reading to the grands, playing with them, taking them for walks, and sitting an amazement at how much that have grown and changed in the short time since I saw them last. I have also been blessed to have been able to spend time talking with Laurinda about things that are important to each of us, though those precious moments seem to have been so brief.

I took time to appreciate the beauty of fallen fall leaves, the crunching sound they make when you walk through them, smile at black squirrels running across a yard, laugh as a jack rabbit caught the attention of my grandson, breath in cool morning air, and appreciate the sun on my skin on unseasonably-warm afternoons.

The clock continues to count down; I am filled with gratitude that the moments between each tick-tock are filled with wonder and beauty and family.

Miracle Baby

I caught a glimpse of the story yesterday as I was taking my daily walk around the perimeter of my office building. We have flat screen TV's posted in strategic places that play non-stop news and provide company information. Yesterday, I was drawn to a picture of a young woman cuddling what looked like a new born infant and I had to stop and see what the story was about.

From what I could glean in the few moments I stood there, the baby had been born premature, pronounced dead by the doctors, and then held lovingly by the mother for two hours, presumably as she grieved and attempted to say goodbye to her child.

Then the child began to move. Some are calling it a miracle.

I was thinking how interesting it would be to catch up with this miracle-child in a few years to find out how his life turns out. Surely, this child is born to accomplish something wonderful!

Then I thought about my own life; all of our lives really. The story of my birth, the story of your birth, they all have snippets of the miraculous. Our lives are meant for greatness too.

Sometimes, I have faltered and greatness of any kind is the last thing I ever thought I would accomplish in my life. Othertimes, I have caught a glimpse of a miracle in the birth of my children and my granddaughter.

Truly, I believe we are all miracles destined to do great things and those great things are as unique as wel are. We may be destined to make music, to write, to speak, to travel. Maybe our destiny has smaller parameters tha involve making a home for our family.

Or perhaps like Baby Jamie's mom, our destiny is to cuddle a premature baby back to life.

I am still fascinated to see how the life of this precious baby turns out in the years to come; just as I am looking forward to seeing what twists and turns yours and mine make in the future.

Because we are alll miracle babies at some level.

Blog Award, Company's Coming, and Kindle Subscriptions

It's a happy day in the Velvet Room today! There are lots of fun and exciting things happening around here!

First of all, thank you to Kathy at To Write is to Write is to Write for giving me the Silver Lining Award. Click over to her blog and read an entertaining tale of how this came to be. It brought a smile to my face!

It's summer time, and I mentioned earlier that I am loving the heat-wave that we're enjoying. Another thing I like about summer is company. I'm pleased to let you know that in the coming weeks we're having company here at My Own Velvet Room! That's all I'm going to say for now, so stay tuned for some surprises this summer!

Here is a piece of news I am excited about. It's now possible to subscribe to My Own Velvet Room and Arms of Adoption on your Kindle!  Really, isn't it an amazing world we live in.

Cacophony

Cacophony.  Don't you love that word? It sounds just like what it is, which is, according to dictionary.com, a "harsh discordance of sound". 

I confess that the cacophony of my daily life wears me out and the older I get the less I can bear the constant noise that surrounds me as I go about my daily activities.  When I am home alone I rarely turn on the television, the radio, the CD player or anything else that will disrupt the sweet solace of silence. (I confess that the sound of my computer keyboard clack-clacking away doesn't bother me in the least, though!)

Recently, almost by accident, I discovered that an album (do they still call them albums?) I purchased from iTunes has the opposite effect.  It contains an assortment of selections, some of which are familiar others not, played softly and gently on an instrument like the piano or flute. I connected my iPod to my external speaker the other day while I was writing and something about the music soothed me to the point where I was inspired to take my writing to another level.  I believe it was one of the most productive writing days I have had in some time.

I am still worn out by the end of the day, exhausted by the constant cacophony generated by people, traffic, and even sometimes the geese that fly overhead.  I still crave silence whenever I can get it.  I have also come to realize that my sense of hearing is a blessing and, in the right form, sound can sooth me.

We're Off!

We're about to begin another road trip!  It makes me feel sad when we are getting ready to go somewhere and the girls aren't coming. The way they look at us with their beautiful big eyes, I am sure they sense we're leaving them behind. I know that they'll be well taken care of and have lots of fun with their pal Lisa though!

This time tomorrow I plan to have a granddaughter on my lap, and I'm looking forward to snuggling my grandson a short time later.  We're blessed.

We're heading off to Manderley on Sunday morning.  Stay tuned for pictures and perhaps much more!

Zoo Day!

It was a beautiful day here in Baby-Land and we all went to the zoo!

Going to the zoo for the first time as a grandma was a different experience. I'm vaguely remember seeing some animals, but what captivated this grandma the most was the smiles and giggles of my grandchildren.  And that's just the way it is meant to be.

Gratitude on a Spring Afternoon

Do you remember a hot summer day when you were a kid and your best friend gave you just a lick of a her orange Popsicle? Remember how sweet it tasted and how you wished you could have more?

That's how I felt today. The sun has been shining all day, there isn't a cloud in the sky, and the temperature is almost 60 degrees.

This afternoon I put on a pair of capri pants, dug out a pair of flip-flops, and took the girls for a walk around the neighborhood. As we walked I heard the drone of lawn mowers as the first cut of the year took place, I saw cherry blossoms beginning to bloom and women puttering around in their gardens.

I breathed deeply and slowly trying to take it all in - trying to get enough to satisfy me in case this was to be the last day like this for a while.  The weather man tells me that we will enjoy similar weather for the entire weekend but he's been known to be wrong.

When I got home I grabbed my camera to take a few pictures around the yard to share with you.  The crocus and daffodils are blooming!

The heather has been blooming for a while now - hardy creature that she is.

Even the clamatis I planted last summer is beginning to show signs of life.                                     

I took a broom and swept away cobwebs and stray dead leaves from my entry way.  It's all ready for pots of flowers now!

Meanwhile back in Baby Land where my heart truly is, Makiya was out for a walk with her Mommy!

So much to be thankful for....

Breathe

It was a quiet day at the office today.  I have needed a quiet day for months, it seems, so that I could take some time to catch up on some things and try to get ahead of the tsunami that seems to be my workload for many months.

I found myself breathing deeply, consciously, something that I don't recall doing purposefully at any other time.  It was odd when I realized that I was inhaling deeply, pausing, closing my eyes, and slowly letting go.  Peace fell over me like a blanket.

Perhap it was the serenity of the day, or maybe it's because I occasionally picked up the slip of paper I keep beside my desk with a picture of the land we are thinking of buying and looked at the prairie landscape.  Maybe it's because it is the Friday before a long weekend.  It might be because I've noticed that my crocus' are blooming, or because it is still light when I go home after work.  I"m not sure; I just feel lighter.

On the way home from work I stopped to pick up a few things and found that the seeds are out!  I couldn't help but pick up a few packages; planting them will be symbolic of my resolve to slow down.

The lesson I have learned today is that breathing helps.  Who knew.

Please respond to my adoption poll if you haven't yet already. 

Conveniences

I'm working at home this morning. I've got some things to do for the upcoming Stories from the Heart conference, some personal paperwork to tend to, research to do, phone calls to make, and of course I'll be working on my book.

It's quiet up here in my office, where the click click of the keys on my keyboard is the only sounds I'm aware of. I just returned from downstairs with a fresh cup of coffee; down there it's not nearly as quiet as it is in my writing sanctuary.

Downstairs the washing machine bumps and grinds through it's cycle (we will never buy that brand of machine again), and the dishwasher hums quietly doing it's own work. From outside I heard the sound of the garbage truck approaching and when I glanced outside I saw all the green bins lined up on the street like silent soldiers standing at attention.

As I thought about how much was happening while I sat upstairs oblivious to the all of the activity, I realized how blessed I am to be living in this particular place at this particular time. A hundred years ago, my grandmother would have done her laundry and dishes much differently than the way that mine is done today and her trash would not have been disposed of quite so easily. A morning spent only on activities dear to her heart would likely have been impossible.

Certainly circumstances are not perfect in the way that we live our lives in 2010, in fact I dream about a simple farm life where I can grow a garden, have a few chickens, and hang my laundry outside in the sunshine. For today though, I'm thankful for the conveniences that allow me time to follow my passion.

A Bittersweet Evening

My heart is filled with happiness and yet burdened with sadness this evening.

I have had such a good time over the past few days here in Grandbaby-Land!  It's such a joy to see these beautiful babies grow and change.  It astounds me how much difference just a few weeks and months can make.  They're both leaving behind the baby stage and entering the toddler stage already.

I consider myself so blessed in that Gerry and I have been able to spend time with them regularly since they were born.  Yet each time we leave to go back home I leave a little piece of my heart here with them.

The birth of these babies has caused me to reflect much on my life and my priorities, and I've made changes as a result of that personal reflection. 

What's important in my life?  Are my actions in line with what I say my priorities are?  Am I making progress toward future goals?  What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind for these little ones?

 My reflections continue this evening as, once more, I prepare to say good-bye to my precious grandchildren.

Sigh.

Judith Viorst

I promised myself when I got my Kindle that I would stop buying "real" books. For the most part, books are cheaper on the Kindle and, quite frankly, I'm running out of places in my house to store them. There was a caveat on my promise though, because some books just aren't yet available for the Kindle, and for those, I would make an exception and I've stood by that promise. Until last Saturday.

I was playing around on my computer, Googling this and Googling that, when I came across this book of poetry by Judith Viorst.

Back in the day, I used to love Judith Viorst! Do you remember the children's book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day? That was written by Judith Viorst! It doesn't stop there, either.

In addition to being the author of this classic children's book, Judith Viorst wrote the type of light-hearted poetry about every day life that somehow seemed to validate my own experience. In fact, I was inspired to write a fair number of my own domestic-centered poems after reading Judith Viorst!

Then I found that not only has she authored Forever Fifty, she has also published volumes called How Did I Get To Be Forty, Suddenly Sixty and I'm Too Young To Be Seventy. Before I knew it I was putting in an order on Amazon without even checking availability on the Kindle. Judith Viorst books are the kind I will want to jot notes in, put sticky tabs in to mark favorite poems, and carry around as a crazy source of comfort.

Today, I arrived home from work to find Forever Fifty waiting for me! A warm and sunny day, a book of poetry, and a lawn swing. What more could I ask for!

Staycation

Gerry and I have been on a modified vacation this week. Yes, it's true we worked all day, but the vacation started on Saturday and has continued every day at about 5:30 pm. On the weekend I stocked up and prepared all kinds of salads, cold cuts, cheeses, fruits and vegetables so we would be ready.
We've been enjoying a record-breaking heat wave here in the Pacific Northwest. While many have been complaining about the heat, we are enjoying it to the fullest. We do have air conditioning in our home and I am profoundly thankful for it, but truth be told, we've really only been in the house to sleep.
We spent most of the weekend and every evening outside in our back yard in holiday mode. We moved our chairs and my lawn swing to the shady area of the grass, stocked up with books (in my case Kindle), snacks, cold drinks, magazines and we have just taken some down time.
Once in a while we've hopped into the hot tub (which isn't so hot at this time of year) to get wet and then dried off in the sunshine. It's been one of the most relaxing weeks I can remember.
I realized how little it takes to make me content. Good books, good conversation with my husband, my little dogs, homemade potato salad, a cool breeze, blue sky, a glass of cold Chardonnay, the sound of children playing in the distance, I could go on and on. As we head into the weekend I hope to keep the holiday mode going for as long as we can.
By the way, as I looked at the picture I posted here I was thinking about the taste of a tomato freshly picked and still warm from the sun. Oh my goodness....is there anything that tastes so good?! That first bite, when the flavor explodes in your mouth fills me with the taste of summers gone past. I'm reminded of tomato sandwiches, summer holidays, and gardens I tended long ago. So much nostalgia packed into a little red tomato.
Happy Friday all!

Rogging

I am so tired of hearing doom and gloom everywhere I turn lately. It's hard not to get caught up in the stock prices, bankruptcies, business closings and such when it seems that we're bombarded with bad news constantly.

A few weeks ago our pastor gave a message on Relying on God, which he coined Rogging. I like that term and I've thought of it many times since then. When I sense myself being drawn into the negativity, I try to step back and do some rogging.

I know we can't keep our heads in the sand about the current situation, but I'm not sure we need to be exposed to it 24 x 7 either. That just can't be healthy. I think back to the Great Depression, which was much worse than this current economic situation, and they just didn't have the instant access to news like we have now. I wonder, in some ways, if that allowed those dear people to get through those years in a way that would not be possible now.

I'm thankful that our TV news feed has been turned off at work this week due to technical difficulties. It's nice to walk into the lunch room without hearing CNN. I am also considering taking a TV news fast for a while. One can still stay current by checking the news online in about ten minutes in the morning.

Today as we go about our daily activities, let's go rogging all the way!

Baby time

I have had a week. This morning, I'm attempting to fill my head with wonderful thoughts before I go out to start the day. So, I thought I would share with you a piece that a wrote in the airport when I was returning home from being with my daughter and her husband when Makiya was born.

Last week my daughter gave birth to a beautiful baby girl - my first grandchild. I was fortunate enough to be with her as she labored to bring the baby into the world, and to spend a week with them helping the new family adjust to the changes. This trip provided an unexpected opportunity to step out of my regular stress-filled existence into a simpler, quieter, more peaceful place run strictly on baby-time.

In baby-time there is little attempt to adhere to personal schedules as everything revolves around the needs of the infant. Aside from tending to the baby’s needs, one could (and we did) spend countless hours just looking at the face of a sleeping baby, fascinated by the different contortions she makes while sleeping. In baby time, holding the child to coax a burp is an opportunity to kiss the top of the cloud-soft head, and to inhale deeply the scent of newborn baby that is like none other.

Holding this new baby in my arms over the past week has been one of the most profound experiences of my adult life. As I have held her, rocked her, talked softly to her, and prayed over here my mind was not tempted to wander. Tasks not completed or put on temporary hold back home held no interest for me. I was not tempted to check my work email, and in fact I only used my personal email to distribute new pictures of the precious girl.

Occasionally I found my mind wandering back to the time when my daughter was first born. There, cradling my granddaughter I was struck with the wonder of this circle of life. Soon, softly, gently, and with little effort, I would return to baby time.

Today I journey back home and I find myself walking through the airport with a serene smile on my face, almost wondering if anyone can tell that I am a new grandma. My fervent hope is that I will be able to retain the wisdom and pleasure of baby time for a long while to come.

Fifty!

Today I am fifty! I am thrilled to meet this milestone head on!

I thought I'd start out this new year with five things that are fabulous about being fifty!

1. Retirement looms close enough to see on the horizon
2. Grandchildren
3. Seeing our children grown into happy healthy productive members of society
4. Now I can act goofy and people excuse me for it! (there's a new "Grandma Dance" that happens in our home once in a while that you wouldn't believe!)
5. Did I mention Grandchildren?

A week to remember

Tomorrow I will be heading home after spending one of the best weeks of my life with my daughter and her husband and baby Makiya.

It has been such a blessing to be able to share this first week of Makiya's life with her parents. While I have been here to help the new parents out a bit, I have received the most abundant blessing I am sure, as I have seen the love that they have for each other spill over onto this precious little girl.

I take home with me precious memories of this week that I will hold in my heart always. It will be sad to leave tomorrow, but I leave knowing that God will keep this family in His tender care, and filled with gratitude for this experience.

Call me Grandma!

Makiya Rose arrived on January 2! She was 7 lbs 11 ounces, 20 inches long, with lots of brown hair, and as precious and beautiful as can be.

Mom and baby are heading home today....pics to come!

How blessed we are!

We're home!

After a long, 14 hour trip, we are finally back home again. We had an incredible time with our children and beautiful little grandson. It's official, we DO have the cutest grandson possible, and we're only slightly biased!

We had a wonderful time, and were especially honored to be able to spend some one-on-one, (really two-on-one) time with our beautiful grandson, Jaxon!

We also spent some great times with soon-to-be-Mommy, my beautiful daughter Laurinda, who is due to deliver in one more month! She and I did some pre-baby shopping together and it was the best time one could ask for.

It's hard to express how thankful I am for everything that God has given this year. We are all blessed beyond measure!

P.S. Brandon, Gord, and Nicole....we had a wonderful time with you all as well! Just saving those memories for another day...and another post....

Nesting

Recently my husband changed jobs. He has gone from working every weekend to having weekends free. I cannot believe the change that this has made in me!

Suddenly I am cleaning my fridge, organizing cupboards, planning meals, cooking meals. It reminds me of the nesting instinct that some women experience when they are pregnant.

It's a bit crazy, but I am loving just puttering around the house while I hear the sound of a football game in the other room, or the sense of security I feel just knowing he is outside washing the cars.

I'm not sure how long this phase will last, but it certainly feels comfortable for now.

Dreams Come True

A few years ago I had the pleasure of being able to fulfill one of my life long dreams when my husband and I took a 15 day tour of Great Britain. I had longed to England at least since I was a young girl studying English Literature.

This trip was everything that I dreamed it would be and more. This picture is of me in Winchester Cathedral in awe of the vision before my eyes. I remember crying when we first went into Westminster Abbey just at the enormity of realizing where I was standing.

As time goes by, and one takes the time to look back, it's such a blessing to recognize dreams that have come true. They don't all have to be as grand as a trip to Great Britain.

What dreams have you seen come true in your own life?