For those of us who have lived some or all of our lives as one of the hyper-diligent, the concept of losing control of anything is incomprehensible. As impossible as I knew it would be to do, the thought of letting go of feeling responsible for everything was oh-so-alluring for a season.
Sometimes, these many years past, on a hot, sultry summer night, I remember those nights when my family slept but I wandered the halls, scrubbed the floor, or sat on the patio, and considered what it might feel like to lose my mind.
I wondered how it was done. Did one just decide to let go of all manner of decorum? What would others think?
I was tired of keeping my finger in the dyke; I was so tempted to pull it out and let the flood come.
It was another lifetime. I was another person.
6 comments:
Wow, Linda, this sounds like a great lead-in to a story that you should write--one I'd like to read. As a trying-to-recover control freak, I can relate.
I second what Susan said!
Okay, I want to read that book! Yes, I think we all can relate to that a bit or a lot.
Oh my! I have also felt that way--with my fingers in all the holes trying to keep things afloat. I have always been too much in control and it might be fun to just let go sometime!
sometimes I feel like a dog chasing his tail....
Sid - it's comforting to know I'm not the only one who has control "issues"!
Becky - which part? Reading the story or the control freak part?! :-)
Karen - And some days more than others, if your anything like me!
Pat - I loved the summer photographs on your blog! Bet you're itching to get back into your home.
Deb - boy do I know that feeling!
Post a Comment