For those of us who have lived some or all of our lives as one of the hyper-diligent, the concept of losing control of anything is incomprehensible. As impossible as I knew it would be to do, the thought of letting go of feeling responsible for everything was oh-so-alluring for a season.
Sometimes, these many years past, on a hot, sultry summer night, I remember those nights when my family slept but I wandered the halls, scrubbed the floor, or sat on the patio, and considered what it might feel like to lose my mind.
I wondered how it was done. Did one just decide to let go of all manner of decorum? What would others think?
I was tired of keeping my finger in the dyke; I was so tempted to pull it out and let the flood come.
It was another lifetime. I was another person.